++ (Plus Plus) Unpublished Organization

~That's Not Candy Corn! It's LIES!!~
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Candy corn. It is vaguely corn-shaped but mostly looks like a very rounded and smooth cone. It IS the perfect shape.

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It shall be bright, sunshiney-yellow at the base, perfectly ripe orangey-orange in the trunk, and crisp, wintery-white at its peak.

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Making another candy in the guise of candy CORN is not permissible and just plain wrong. Making another food in the shape or color of candy corn to make it more pleasing to the eye is okay.

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DO NOT BE FOOLED BY FAKES!!!

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They don't taste right, they don't look right and the texture is so bad for so many reasons.

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This is CEREAL, NOT candy corn.
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"Candy corn-colored chocolate"??? You have to be joking!

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G-u-m-d-r-o-p-s does not spell candy corn.
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Candy corn does not need to be individually wrapped up like these pathetic taffies.

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Yeah, nougat, candy corn does not pull your fillings out..
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Fluffy gummy corns in the almost-shape and color of candy corn does not a candy corn make.

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And these gummies don't fare much better; they look more like rotten teeth than candy corn.
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And this?! THIS?!?! It's not even CHEWABLE! But you know what? If you close your eyes while you drink it, it kind of does taste a little like CRAP!

Candy corn is bright and cheery, sweet and delicious, portable (throw a handful in your pocket and go), easy to hide from spying eyes (yes kids, you can eat them in class!) and kitty-bite sized!
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.But wait, if you thought THAT was bad... Yes, there's MORE!!!

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Thinking that if they adopted the candy corn texture and stripedness, some candy companies have attempted to implement different COLORS for different occasions and even different FLAVORS!!! Like there's any OTHER flavor other than original CANDY CORN flavor! HA!!
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Caramel is the first most popular "flavor" in a slew of flavored candy cornses.

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Caramel apple. Okay. So where's the apple? And where's the candy corn for that matter??
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Caramel Chocolate. They look black and rotten. Gross.
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Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I remember when "Caramel corn" referred to caramel-coated pop-corn, not this vile candy corn impostor.

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Never having tried these myself (thank god), I've heard they taste like vanilla... which is not candy corn... so who cares.
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.These abominations are supposed to taste like green apple, what they taste like is crap.

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And the absolute worst flavor of all: Toffee flavored CHOCOLATE COVERED corns!!! Then again, maybe the toffee corns were so ashamed of their flavor and color that they decided to hide under a coat of chocolate.
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Candy corn-flavored candy corn in different colors abound but despite the familiar palette, the colors and sometimes NAMES (such as Easter Corn, Valentine Corn, Indian Corn & REINDEER Corn!!) take away from the total joy = NO JOY.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO NO!!
It's NOT REAL!! Don't accept it!! Don't stand for it!! Go without if you must, but stand firm for your candy corn beliefs and your candy corn RIGHTS!... I think I'm gonna cough up a hairball...
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